Getting Along With People Rationally
A practical mind is what proceeds from the theoretical mind, or from thoughts directed at discerning the good from the bad then guiding the person to transform these thoughts into practice in his behavior and conduct. Here is an issue that everyone can think about: how to achieve the love of society? How to get through to it? How to achieve the spouse’s love? How to achieve your children’s love or parents’ love?In all these areas, it is quite natural that you keep a degree of caution, whether covertly or overly, because you do not know what that other person holds towards you in that internal area of his. A person is always cautious regarding the concealed things that the other thinks about, which is a matter that these short words of Imam Ali (as) dealt with: “ The hearts of men are not naturally approachable; whoever ( works to) make them friendly will see them warming to him .” The heart – which is the internal area of feeling and thinking – is constantly cautious of what will come from others , but he who knows how to make friendly the hearts of other people, and make them trust and love him through nice words, a nice approach and treatment, will find that they will warm to him .This is because every person, of whatever status, acts through his human nature, and words are the messengers that proceed from his heart to that of the other ; the same applies to the approach, atmosphere, look, touch etc. to the extent that in some narrations if someone enters a dispute with one of his kin it is recommended that he touches him since “ the kinship link, if touched, calms down .”
Such approaches involve some of the teachings that we mentioned and explained earlier , such as “ Being nice amounts to half a reason ( half a reasonable attitude ) , and “Gently reproach your brother by doing a favor to him ,and turn away his evil by giving to him “ Another of Ali’s words in this regard is:”Dislodge evil from the chest of others by dislodging it from your chest “, so open your heart to those who have wronged you and naturally if you rid yourself from the evil in your heart ,this will be reflected in your behavior and attitude with them , which will have the positive effect of you entering his heart .
The late Grand Ayatollah Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadhlullah (r.a)